In need of things to talk about with a guy? Here are the best topics to grab his attention and keep it for the long haul.
Men can get bored very easily. If you don’t know what things to talk about with a guy, your relationship or friendship can get dull and fast.
The fact of the matter is, most guys have the attention spans of children. Their minds wander greatly from time to time, and it can be difficult to keep them interested in you or anything you have to say.
The biggest fear many people face when in a relationship is losing their significant other’s interest. While they probably will remain interested, purely because they like who you are as a person, it can feel like they grow distant—especially when it comes to communication.
But, sometimes they might not feel like talking because the conversation isn’t interesting to them. So, what things should you talk about with a guy to keep his attention?
Keeping a guy interested
It may seem sexist or old-fashioned for you to be the one having to keep him interested. And, well, it is. Having to take the lead in the relationship and maintain a good level of communication shouldn’t lay solely on your shoulders.
Having interesting things to talk about with a guy so that he doesn’t lose interest seems like the advice you’d see in a women’s magazine from the ’50s. The thing is, no matter how much progress has been made, we, as women, still seem to steer the reigns for what qualifies as a healthy relationship.
We tend to be the ones encouraging our partners to talk, open up, and maintain honesty. It isn’t fair or right, but it is the case. Sure, we could stop and let things fall to crap, but that isn’t our way.
Instead, we take the time to find things to talk about with a guy so that he remains interested in us and so we don’t lose our connection. Who knows, maybe after a while of finding the right things to talk about with a guy, he’ll get the hint and take the lead.
Things to talk about with a guy
When it comes to things to talk about with a guy, the answer isn’t sports or types of beer. We are not that old-fashioned here. But, with that in mind, he is also not your girlfriend.
Gossiping about how someone stole someone else’s baby name or got horrendous bangs probably isn’t going to give you his undivided attention.
For your guy to stay interested and keep your relationship strong, here are the best things to talk to him about. These are some surefire ways to pique his interest and keep his eyes on you for the long haul.
1. His interests
Whether you are struggling to come up with things to talk about or want him to open up more, bringing up his interests is a great place to start. This shows him you’re committed to him and that you are open to learning new things about him.
Guys don’t talk about their interests as often as you might think. So, they’ll be excited to have someone to share this with. Knowing that you’re interested in hearing about his interests shows him he can come to you when he has something to share.
2. His work
People spend about 70% of their day at work. Whether he loves his job or not, being able to rave or vent about it with you will help him feel comfortable with you. So ask him how his job is going.
Make sure to talk about his new goals at work, any projects he’s got going on that he really likes, and whatever else you can. By showing you care about these aspects of his life, he will remain interested and want to get closer to you because he feels so comforted by you.
3. His hobbies
You might cringe at the thought of spending time discussing his latest golf outing with his work friends, but if it’s something that he finds important, make a point to discuss it.
Ask how it went, what he learned, if he’s getting better, etc. You don’t need to love it, but just letting him know he can share with you without you rolling your eyes is great.
Plus, this should show him that he can do the same for you. He may not want to hear about the deals you scored at the mall the past weekend, but he can listen because it makes you happy to share.
If there’s one word that can make a man perk up and pay extra close attention, it’s sex. This can be a touchy subject for men if you approach talking about sex like something is wrong. But when you’re reaching for a great conversation that’ll keep him around, talk about the bedroom!
Instead of complaining or talking about sex with someone else, discuss things you really like, what you’d like to try, and even ask him if there’s anything he would be interested in doing.
This is a great way to keep him interested because it opens a gap that can sometimes burden a relationship. This also shows him that you’re comfortable with your sexuality.
5. Just him
Let’s be honest… Men love to talk about themselves. Who doesn’t? Ask him how his day is going. And really listen when he volunteers any information. He is just itching for you to ask about his new workout regimen because his body looks great.
If you’ve noticed he’s spending more time in the gym or experimenting with his haircut, say something! Ask him what new workouts he’s been doing, or what inspired his sudden transformation. This will definitely keep him interested, because you are showing him that you pay attention.
I’m pretty sure food is a universally loved thing by everyone, but men can have a deep obsession with food. When you start babbling about it, he’s certain to keep his interest on you. Bonus points if you talk about making him food.
Ask him what you should make. Are there any recipes from his childhood he wants you to try? What can he cook for you?
7. What you have in common
Show him how good you guys are together. Some of the best things to talk about with a guy are the things that bonded you in the first place. If you have shared interests, talk about them—and often! Make sure to discuss new things about your interest that he might not know about.
My boyfriend and I initially bonded over our love for TV and movies, so we always share new behind-the-scenes facts and new films coming out soon. It’s a great way to show him that you two will never run out of things to talk about.
Straight up, ask him what he’s passionate about and watch him talk on and on. Not only will he like that he can share with you, but you will love to see how absorbed he gets in the topic. Also, talk about your own passions. He should be happy to hear you discuss what makes you happy.
Being able to open up about such personal things with each other is rare. He will appreciate that and remember it.
9. His goals
I think every guy out there has a specific goal of some kind, just sitting in the back of his mind.
Ask him if he has any at the moment and talk to him about them. He’ll be grateful to be able to open up to you, and he might even find that you motivate him—something men will not want to lose.
10. What makes you tick
Contrary to popular opinion, guys, or at least decent guys, want to know about you. They want to hear about what makes you, you. It excites him to hear you talk about the things that matter to you.
Whether it is your family, job, or a hobby, he will want to know what you are invested in. Not only will he hope you become that passionate about him, but he will admire your ability to care.
Everyone loves to laugh. Talk about a comedy show you went to. Discuss your favorite sitcoms or movies. Even sending memes to each other can get lead to hilarious things to talk about with a guy.
If you know he finds certain things funny, show him! It might strike up a fun conversation that’ll make him crave more time with you.
12. Random topics
Be surprising. Bring up a topic he knows a lot about or something totally out of the blue. Show him you have a lot of sides to you. Maybe you talk a lot about pop culture. Next time you read a fun fact about history, share it with him.
Surprise him with variety. Finding new things to talk about and discuss will keep him interested because he won’t know what to expect next.
13. Play 20 questions
There are probably hundreds of questions he wants to ask you, but has never had the opportunity. Well, now you can give it to him on a silver platter!
If you’re looking for a conversation starter, tell him you want to play 20 questions with anything as fair game. You’ll not only keep him interested, but the two of you will get to know each other better and better, and he’ll probably find things out about you he didn’t even know—which may keep him around to find out more!
14. His ideal future
We often forego this topic when looking for things to talk about with a guy. But guys like discussing their future just as much as we do. He wants to share what he wants in 10 or 20 years.
Ask him what his long terms goals are. Does he want a family? Perhaps he dreams of opening an animal shelter? Does he want to travel to every country?
Our families are one of the most important things in our lives. If you want to keep him interested and get closer to him, talk about your families. Do you have siblings? Are you close with them? How are your relationships with your parents? Are they still together?
Our families defined so much of our lives and have helped us become who we are, so talking about them is vital to maintain your bond.
16. Current events
Ignoring current events because they are depressing is no longer cool. It never really was. Discussing what is going on in the world, whether a movement, climate change, or politics, is so important.
This will show him how educated, and worldly, you are and how much you care about the happenings around the globe. This will also help you make sure he is up to date on what things are happening and can engage in a conversation regarding current affairs.
17. The perfect date
What is his dream date? Would he want to fly somewhere and have dinner on a rooftop? Would he want to sit behind home plate at a Yankees game? Perhaps he would want to go skydiving or snorkeling.
Asking him about this is a great way to plan a future date and shows that you care about his tastes. It is common to make dates romantic and fill them with candles or flowers. Men are often “supposed” plan dates for women. Instead, turn the tables and make his dream date come true.
Discussing books can go much deeper than discussing movies. Talk about how you imagined characters would look or how you interpreted certain moments. Recommend books to each other.
People can fear that reading books makes them boring or seem like a know-it-all. Never apologize for your love of books. Share that will him. Open his eyes to your favorites and try out something you maybe never realized you’d love. This will help you teach each other new things.
Our love for our pets and animals in general is something all decent humans share. So, share it with him. Talk about your childhood pet. Discuss how many pets you want in the future.
Do you prefer small dogs? What is your favorite breed? Do you donate to shelters? Maybe you could even volunteer together. This is a positive topic that will show you two care about similar things.
20. Your past
It can be awkward to talk about your past with a guy. This is one of those things to talk about with a guy that can be less fun. But, it is so important. You don’t need to go into detail about your exes. Instead, share what you learn from your past and what you experienced.
Show him that you care to hear about his past too. You want to know what he learned from failed relationships and why he thinks he’s ready now. Discussing these deeper and sometimes more difficult topics with a guy can seem hard but pays off in the end. You will feel so much closer.
21. How you both want to grow
Everyone should always be striving to be better and improve themselves. Talking about this with a guy is a great way to hold each other accountable and challenge each other to stay on top of your goals.
Maybe you want to be better at saving money, and he wants to learn more about other cultures. Push each other and motivate each other. This will remind you why it is so great to be in each other’s lives.
Travel is so important to some people. Do you share a passion for traveling? Where is you favorite place to go? What is his dream vacation spot?
Share your travel stories and dreams. This can lead to future plans and also help you decide if your lifestyles are in line.
23. Important people in your lives
We already talking about how your families are so important but what about the other people in your life? Talk about your chosen family. Ask him about his best friend. How did they meet? What has kept them close for so long?
Learning these things teaches you a lot about him. Is he loyal? Is their relationship built on secrets or a lifelong bond? Be sure to share what friendships have shaped your life as well.
24. Social media
How does he feel about social media? Does he use it just to keep in touch with friends? Perhaps he thinks it is an awesome business tool? Maybe he is totally over it and deleted all his accounts.
There are many hot takes about social media, both the good and bad sides of it. You can discuss where you stand and even have a respectful debate. Who knows, you can learn more about each other and society as a whole.
25. Your relationship
This is a big one and you might think he will dread this conversation, but if he likes you as much as he probably does, it won’t be such a big deal. One of the biggest things to talk about with a guy is your own relationship. What are you to each other? Are you moving closer together?
Are you just friends? If he doesn’t want to define things or talk about there is a reason for that. Do you even want to keep him interested? This conversation can answer a lot of questions.
Keeping a guy interested through conversation can be pretty tough sometimes, but with these intricate things to talk about with a guy, you’ll keep him interested and get some answers for yourself.