If you’re asking yourself the question “should I call him?”, then you need to keep reading to find out. Even if you like him, it’s not always a good idea.
While it’s easy to think you’d always know the answer to “should I call him?,” truthfully, it can be quite a challenging answer. Even if you like him, it’s not always the best idea to do so.
If you’ve dated a few guys in your past, there may have been a few instances where it wasn’t always the best choice. If anything, you even wish you could take that phone call back in an instant.
Should I call him: The perspective from both sides of the coin
If you do choose to call him, you need to make sure he’s worth it. Does he feel the same way? Does he treat you right? Is he a good person? Will the call not hurt anyone? Is he an ex? These are all questions you should be asking yourself before even making that call.
You can absolutely call him as the decision will always be yours. However, it shouldn’t be a call done out of loneliness, desperation, or boredom.
Call him because you genuinely care or maybe you want to make that brave move on your crush.
Don’t call because it’s 3 am and you don’t have anyone to talk to – you’re better than that.
The answer would be no if calling him won’t add anything beneficial in your life. Maybe it prevents you from moving on, or maybe it’s only going to hurt you more because of unrequited love. If you know the answer or if you know the call is going to end in pain, it’s not worth the risk.
This means absolutely no calling your ex, no matter who did the dumping. It’s never an excuse to call up someone just because you’re feeling nostalgic. If you’re asking yourself the question, “should I call him?” and he’s already hurt you more than once or gotten your hopes up, then it’s a definite no.
The ‘should I call him’ answers revealed
While there are certainly times you end up regretting calling him, there are always times where it’s the best decision of your life.
Before calling him, you need to look at the situation at hand and see if it’s a smart move. Well, here are some answers to the “should I or shouldn’t I call him” question.
1. Follow your gut instinct
You really need to start listening to your gut instinct way more. Most often, it’s always the right decision. Okay, you’re sitting here freaking out about this guy. Is this because of your self-esteem and ego? Or do you actually like him? Follow your gut when it comes to this.
Stop letting your emotions control you and go with the decision that feels right. If you actually like him, then go for it! You have nothing better to lose anyway. If things don’t pan out, at least you get to say you called him and tried.
2. Don’t call him if he said he was going to
You really don’t need to ask the question, “should I call him?” if he said he was going to call you. We know guys *and most people too!* tend to say one thing and mean another, but if someone says they’ll call you, it’s best to wait for their call.
If he doesn’t call you, then he’s not interested *or fell off a cliff.* If someone likes you and verbally tells you to expect a call from them, then they’ll call. You really can’t get anything by calling because it just makes you look desperate and clingy.
3. But you can call him
This might sound very confusing, but again, it’s still your choice whether you decide to call him or not. Are you interested in seeing him? If you are, then call him. If you had a first date and it went really well, we’re sure he’s going to call you, but there’s nothing wrong with you making the first move.
If you honestly feel it in your gut that’s the right call, then don’t hesitate to go for it! You never know, he might end up appreciating that call and take it a step further. Sometimes, one phone call can change everything so it’s important to make the right decision.
4. It’s the 21st century
Really, the modern dating culture no longer focuses on who makes the first move or who calls who. Don’t be afraid of being seen as anything less just because you call him. It’s kind of outdated to wait for a guy to call you.
Even if you haven’t had the first date, there’s nothing wrong with calling him and asking him out. If you really like him and it’s worth a shot, then the answer to the question “should I call him?” is yes.
5. If he’s playing mind games, don’t bother
This should be common sense, but love and infatuation can block the logical slide of our brains. If he treats you anything less than you deserve, then don’t call him. It’s not worth your time and energy. If he finds it amusing to make you feel like the world one minute, and he ignores your existence the next, don’t call him.
If he does this, don’t even bother doing anything with him – just drop him from your life. You don’t deserve to be played mind games with just because he can’t find anything else to do. No matter how drop-dead gorgeous he is, just drop him.
6. He may be shy
Interestingly enough, not every guy emerges from a Hollywood chick flick. There are some guys who are actually shy and anxious to call you for whatever reason. Maybe he wants everything to be perfect when he does call you or he’s building the nerve to do so, but it’s a legitimate reason.
Of course, you can always do it for him and call instead. This would make things easier for him and you never know, things might kick off because of that call.
7. Does he even have your number?
If he has your Instagram or Facebook, there’s no excuse in the book for not calling you. In fact, people don’t even use their numbers to call anymore as everyone uses social media nowadays.
On the off chance that he doesn’t have either your number or your socials, then you can be the first to call. As long as he’s a good guy and he isn’t some guy who ghosted you, then the answer to the question of should I call him is yes.
8. You give assurance
Many men aren’t sure about making the first move because they don’t know if you’re interested. Even if they give off a confident vibe, a lot are unsure if their feelings are reciprocated. If there’s anything men fear, it’s rejection.
When you do make the first move of calling him, you give him the assurance that you feel the same way. Maybe that call could be the key to a first date or maybe a second one. You never know, right?
9. Are you always the one calling him?
One-sided calls are never a good thing. Even if we do live in the 21st century, you shouldn’t always be the one making effort to call. Unless his phone is broken or he fell off the face of the earth, he should also call you!
Your efforts should at least be reciprocated, if not outdone. So if you notice this pattern, stop calling him and see what happens. If he doesn’t bother, then that’s your sign – he’s just not that interested.
10. There are no rules
Stop listening to the rules to never call first after a date or to wait three days before contacting them. If you really like someone, there should be no rules when following your heart. Relationships aren’t something you successfully get into even if you play by the rules.
You’ll find that the best experiences are often those you never saw coming. You just have to be true to yourself and do what feels right.
11. If he’s an ex, ditch your phone
We mean this in the best way possible, but it’s better to lose your phone than to text your ex. This is literally the worst dating decision you can make.
Even if you miss him, there’s no reason you should go back to him! You broke up for a reason so do everything you can to resist the urge to call him up. Do you really want to put yourself through all that pain again?
12. If there’s a possibility he feels the same, take the chance
Life is really too short to miss out on the chance that your crush or possible boyfriend feels the same for you. He might be shy to admit it or have a hard time finding the right opportunity, so why don’t you make the first move?
If you turn out to be wrong, it’s always better to try than to regret it. If you’re right, then it can turn out to be everything you’ve wanted in your dating life. A phone call may seem scary, but in this scenario, it does more good than harm.
13. Is a call or a text better?
There are instances where we automatically jump to call someone when it can be said better in a text message. Not to mention, it’s not as confrontational as a phone call.
It’s always better to think first before calling him, especially as not everyone picks up the phone these days.
Think of it this way, a text is yesterday’s version of a call. And a call is yesterday’s version of dropping by unannounced to someone’s house.
So unless you both know each other well enough to hop on a call, it’s a great idea to build on a texting relationship first before you do decide to call him.
14. It helps you get closure faster
On the off chance that a guy isn’t into you, then you can find out faster by calling him. If he doesn’t pick up or says directly or indirectly that he’s not interested, then there’s your cue to move on and find someone else. This is a much better scenario compared to tolerating the waiting game of him calling you first.
15. Do you have something interesting to talk about?
Nobody wants to talk to someone who can’t contribute anything interesting to the conversation. When deciding on the question of ‘should I call him,’ you need to be sure you actually have something to talk about. It can’t be small talk, especially when you’re calling your crush.
If you want that phone call to be a real success and land a date with him, you need to be the most interesting and dynamic version of yourself. In other words, don’t be boring!
So, should I call him?
Yes, do it! Unless he’s a psychopath, an ex, treating you badly, or giving you mixed signals, then you definitely should! Even a short phone call can turn your dating life around for the better.
You never know, you could even land your dream date because of that. Now wouldn’t that be amazing?
So, now that you know the dos and don’ts to the question of, should I call him, are you going to? Only you get a say on whether you should call him or not. Really, in the end, you should do what feels right. If you want to be brave, then go for it!