Learning how to tease a guy is a great way to get him to try harder. Plus, it’s no secret that guys tend to like what they can’t have. So, tease away.
Knowing how to tease a guy is subtle yet intricate. It is all about giving and pulling back.
In my book, teasing is not a game but an incentive. It is a way to make guys realize what they really want faster. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting around for him to realize it, and by the time he does, you will have moved onto greener pastures.
In order to get a guy’s attention, sometimes, being straightforward just doesn’t work. Many guys, even the decent ones, are conditioned to want what they can’t have. So learning how to tease a guy is a wonderful way to get his undivided attention.
The art of teasing a guy
Teasing a guy sounds simple enough, right? Well, it is a bit more complicated than what you may have done to your grade school crush. Teasing a guy in terms of dating him is not about poking fun at his shortcomings.
In fact, learning how to tease a guy is a subtle art. It is about give and take. You want to offer something to him and pull it back. It is about mystery and small glimpses.
Let’s use lingerie as an example. There is a reason it is so popular. It is all about teasing. What makes it so sexy is that it doesn’t give everything away at once. Instead, it hints at what’s beneath but still leaves you guessing.
This is how a lot of attraction works. Think about your favorite show. If it ends with a cliffhanger, that is a form of teasing. Even a trailer for a movie is called a teaser for a reason. It gives you just enough to want more.
That is how you have to think about teasing a guy.
The benefits of teasing a guy
Now that you get the idea about what teasing a guy really is, why would you do it? Well, as I said, guys don’t always know what they want.
Sometimes, we need to take the lead and show them. But, again, rather than walking up to your crush and saying you’re interested and hoping that ignites their feelings, subtlety can often actually speak even louder.
Teasing is like a slow burn. You have to have patience, and it forces him to build up a longing that makes the end of the teasing even better.
You can tease him sexually or emotionally, and it will trigger something in him that wants to know more. Although not every guy is built the same, learning how to tease a guy can enhance your connection from when you first see him.
Teasing shows that you have wildly enhanced self-control. It shows that you are in control. It tells a guy that there is a lot more to you below the surface, making him want to discover what that is.
And teasing is not just about sex or playing hard to get. Learning how to tease a guy lets you guide the story.
How to tease a guy
Hopefully, you are now convinced that learning how to tease a guy can benefit you in more ways than one. But, how do you do it?
It isn’t like learning how to put together Ikea furniture. There isn’t a map to success or a list of instructions. Rather, you learn how to tease a guy through trial and error.
Just like nearly everything else in life, practice makes perfect. If you are nervous about teasing a guy you actually like, try it out on strangers. Don’t tease a guy friend, but someone you just met at the bar.
This lets you start with a blank slate. It also prevents the chances of things getting complicated as you just met.
Instead, you can see what works for you and what doesn’t. For example, is being touchy and playful your thing, or are you more shy and mysterious?
Is your teasing going to come from body language and eye contact or your words and banter? Trying different teasing styles on strangers will help you determine what works and what doesn’t before you try it with a guy you really like.
2. Take advantage of technology
If you are just trying to tease a guy for the first time, you may feel a little awkward or uncomfortable. So, try it over text or social media before doing it in person. Something as simple as a winking emoji can show interest without giving away too much.
You can be subtle with this, or even responding to his text late and saying you just got out of the shower lets his mind wander without you actually saying anything sexual.
3. Start a competition
Competition has a way of raising the adrenaline and chemistry in all of us. So whether you tease a guy at the bar by daring him to shotgun a beer or claiming you can name more actors on Game Of Thrones than him, it ignites a spark.
Friendly competition is sort of the adult equivalent to telling your childhood crush he has cooties.
4. Flirt and pull back
This is probably the easiest way to tease a guy and get him interested. Flirt as you normally would, but pull back. I am not saying to be hot and cold or ghost him randomly but just hint at your interest so that he isn’t sure how you feel.
This mystery may seem confusing, but it challenges him to want to find out more.
5. Talk about sex
Just bringing up sex around him is teasing. Bring up a sex scene on that HBO show you both watch.
Talk about something you read in a book. Make sure not to talk about sex with an ex or anything too clinical. Just mentioning anything revolving around the topic will get his motors running.
6. Use your body
Body language is a key piece of flirting and teasing. Avoid kissing or anything too obvious. Instead, just place your hand on his arm when he’s talking or playfully hit him when you laugh at his joke.
Even your clothes can be a method of learning how to tease a guy. So instead of going all out with sexy attire, show off your best asset. Drawing attention to just one part is sexier and focused.
7. Don’t push it too far
Teasing is an art that means it can be overdone easily and why I told you to practice. You don’t want to tease a guy until he is so confused he moves on or goes nuts.
Teasing should be subtle. It is just enough interest to get him excited, but not so much he is 100% sure you’re interested. And once he makes his intentions known, let it go. Once you’ve kissed or made it to your intended target, teasing is off the table.
Sure, you can still sexually tease someone you’re dating, but once they know you’re interested in them for sure, teasing just becomes immature.
8. Be confident
Teasing and flirting in general really don’t work without a level of confidence. Know you are worth his effort and believe that you are worth his time.
If you second guess yourself, so will he. Own who you are and exude that attitude to make teasing a guy work for you.
9. Compliment him
One of the easiest ways you can tease a guy is with a compliment. Show him that you admire something about him without actually sharing how you feel.
You can say he looks great in blue, but that doesn’t mean you are attracted to him. It will flatter him but won’t give him a big ego. Even laughing at his jokes will work.
10. Use your space
Play with personal space. When you are teasing a guy, you don’t want to be a few feet away from him. You should offer a closeness that makes him wonder if you’re that near to him because you’re in a crowded bar or because you want to be.
You can lean in and whisper in his ear but then pull back. By playing with those boundaries, he is intrigued. But with that, never let a guy do anything you are uncomfortable with, and if that happens, tell him. You have to set your own boundaries and know when someone crosses them.
11. Know your timing
Intimacy is the end goal of teasing a guy. You don’t want to tease him endlessly. That will get old and annoying. You don’t want to be a tease, and you just want to tease him gently.
Teasing is a means to an end. That end is pleasure.
So be sure that you aren’t taking the teasing too far. If he says he likes you, or is clear with his intentions, pull back on the teasing and games. There is a time and a place for teasing, and it isn’t when he has been vulnerable with you.
12. Poke fun
You do not want to offend anyone, but poking a little fun at him is a great way to keep him on his toes. You want to make fun of him in a lighthearted manner that isn’t hitting below the belt.
For instance, joke about how he still texts using “u r” instead of spelling out the words. If he isn’t willing to try a new cuisine, you can mock his juvenile palate. These things are simple and small enough to not really mess with him, but will let him know you’re clever and will call him out.
13. Touch him
This is definitely better advice for those already dating someone. You don’t want to do this to a guy you just met. It is over the line. But, if you are in the beginning stages of dating, this will send him over the edge.
If you’re sitting at a bar or table in a restaurant, gently rub his inner thigh. Do not go up too high. But, just that light touch gets him thinking about what might happen later and he will be drooling over you.
14. Give him space
If you’ve been putting in all this effort to flirt and tease him and nothing is happening, give him space.
I’m not saying you should ghost him, but give him time to miss you. Don’t send him that meme that you know he’ll love. Don’t ask how his trip is going.
You can still like his posts, but keep it minimal. Just hold back a bit, and he should realize what he’s missing. Of course, it also doesn’t hurt to post a thirst trap during this time to really reel him in.
15. Walk away
Lastly, know how to exit without ruining the teasing part. Leaving him should be the final tease. You want him to watch you walk away, hoping you’ll turn around one more time.
Don’t wait for the conversation to die down before heading out. Leave him wanting more. He should think about you later at the highest point of the night, not when things got awkward.
Learning how to tease a guy in order to get him to try harder is not as easy as it sounds. But, once you master it, the guys will be falling over themselves for you.