Unless we see our mistakes, the odds are we will repeat them. Now is the time to break the cycle and learn what codependent traits are.
Most of us don’t realize we’re in an unhealthy relationship until something significant happens that shakes us up. What can I say? Humans are pretty stubborn, if you ask me. Maybe someone has told you that you’re in a codependent relationship or that you have codependent traits or you’re seeing some unhealthy behavior happening between you and your partner. Either way, you’ve come to the right place because I’m going to be talking about codependent traits.
By the end of this article, you’ll be able to understand what the traits are and if you exhibit them.
12 signs of codependent traits
So, what is codependency? Codependency is when either one partner or both partners are so invested in each other that they can’t function independently. In other words, it’s when the person(s) can’t live without their partner.
Sounds extreme when reading it, right? But when you’re living in a codependent relationship, this relationship set-up isn’t always so obvious. So, if you want to know whether you’re in a codependent relationship or not, it’s time you looked at the signs and come to a conclusion for yourself.
Are you or your partner exhibiting codependent traits?
#1 Your partner’s opinion is number one. It’s normal that we consider our partner’s opinion when making a decision. We trust and respect them. But, you don’t do anything without the consent of your partner. If they don’t like something that you do, you’ll give it up to make them happy.
#2 You make extreme sacrifices for your partner. The things you do aren’t to help grow the relationship; rather, the sacrifices you make are extreme and only serve to make your partner happy. What happened to a relationship being a two-way street?
#3 You struggle to say no. Even when you don’t want to do something, instead of talking it out and coming to a compromise, you immediately give in to your partner’s needs. You’re not considering your energy, time, and feelings.
#4 You avoid arguments. Believe it or not, arguments are essential in a healthy relationship, if you know how to have a constructive argument. Conflict means there’s something that needs to be addressed, and when done right, people’s needs are met as a result. But you avoid arguing with your partner in fear of losing them.
#5 You feel trapped. You don’t want to leave your partner, but you also feel that you won’t be able to live without them. In other words, you’re trapped. You’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship. Even though you’re not really stuck, you only feel that.
#6 You engage in substance abuse. Though you think you’re happy in your relationship, deep down, you’re not. To suppress those negative feelings, you engage in problematic behavior such as drugs and alcohol abuse. Why? Because you don’t want to face the consequence of losing your partner.
#7 You feel responsible for your partner’s happiness. When your partner is upset, you take that on yourself, even though you shouldn’t. You place your partner’s happiness on your shoulders, doing whatever you can to make them happy. News alert: they’re the only ones responsible for their own happiness.
#8 You’re very loyal. Loyalty is a desirable trait in most relationships; however, you take it to the extreme. Even when you’re aware the relationship is unhealthy, and you’re not being treated with respect, you stay by your partner’s side. This is a serious sign of codependency.
#9 Your partner doesn’t consider your needs. While you’re busy doing everything for your partner to make them happy, they rarely pay attention to your needs and desires. And why would they? They’re being served with a silver spoon. However, this shows that they’re taking advantage of you.
#10 You give up your truth. You have your beliefs, values, and opinions in the world; however, they don’t necessarily align with your partner. And honestly, that’s fine. You and your partner shouldn’t be twins. However, instead of standing by your beliefs, you give up your truth for your partner to either gain approval or to avoid negative consequences.
#11 You use sex for attention. I’m pretty sure most people have done this in their lifetime. We often confuse love with sexual attention. Though deep down, what we want is to be loved; instead, we use sex as a way to gain affection and intimacy.
#12 You feel like a victim. Everything that happens in you or your partner’s life is a reflection of the codependent person. When you’re a codependent person, you usually feel victimized and powerless as you don’t understand your role in the reality you’ve created.
A codependent relationship is extremely unhealthy. By recognizing these codependent traits, you’ll be able to see where you stand in your relationship. And take steps towards regaining who YOU are.